Saturday, March 13, 2010

It's been a while....

I'm so sorry for not updating, but quite frankly I've been so depressed lately that it's hard to get the motivation to do anything. 

The Plaquenil didn't work for me.  It caused me to develop a bad rash all over my body, especially on my arms.  So...I went to the doctor, got a shot of something, and stopped taking the Plaquenil.  A week later, I started Plan B:  Sulfasalazine.  The doctor has me taking 1 pill a day for a week, 2 pills a day for the next week, and 3 a day the third week.  After that, I go in for blood work. I guess SSZ sometimes affects blood counts.  

Meanwhile, I am on a Prevpac for the h.pylori.  It really bites as it is 4 pills in the morning and 4 at night for 2 weeks.  

I don't know which of these is responsible for it, but I'm getting the most awful taste in my mouth a few hours after taking the medicine.  It's kinda's gross.

Anyway....depression has kicked in BIG TIME for me.  I'm truly struggling.  I feel alone and worthless right now.  Thoughts of suicide are becoming more and more frequent.  I don't know how long I'll be able to continue to go on the way things are going in my life.  

I'm really lonely right now.  Wish I had friends in town who understood what I'm going through.  I wish my husband understood.  I feel like I'm on an island and I don't like it at all.