Thursday, August 16, 2012

I Just Can\'t Do This

I am so depressed again. I am isolating myself from everyone and I hate myself for doing so. I want to quit so badly. I am so miserable and tired of feeling bad. I am tired of feeling like I don\'t belong anywhere. I want to smile again. I want to feel important again. I want friends and family in my life. I am truly close to giving up. I\'m hanging on for my kids, though. I\'ll hang on as long as I can.


  1. Hi Beth.

    I don't know how I happen upon your blog or why I chose to post, but I felt that I needed to offer a word of encouragement.

    I can only imagine the magnitude of your condition and still that is probably not enough. I suffered from a debilitating sickness that the Dr, my spouse, parents, or kids could not understand. I was in constant pain that left me in the fetal position in the bed. Everyone thought I was faking but I knew that something was wrong in my body and while I'm not 100% today, I'm making progress.

    In my darkest days, I wanted to give up but I determine that I was not how wanted to be remembered. Please find that nugget that keeps you going and when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on! There are a lot of fun things that are at the end of the rope-a nice walk with your dog, swinging out over a cool lake, a victory over your condition.

    Peace and blessings.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope you are feeling 100% soon. I will keep your advice in mind. It does sound like a much better way to live my life and get through this. Thanks again!

  2. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
    Miss, no way it's all good, it (shouldn't) slow (you) down
    Mistaken, always second guessing
    Underestimated, look, (you're) still around

    Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
    Like you're less than, less than perfect
    Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
    Like you're nothing you are perfect to me

    Don't give up, baby girl. You DO belong.

    1. Thank you. Even though I don't know who you are, your words are so comforting to me.

  3. Keep hanging on! I'm dealing with the tick sickness too and have come 'thisclose' to giving up a few times because it's so hard, but we can't get better if we quit! Talk to your LLMD and see if your meds can be adjusted or something so you can start to get some relief. Do you belong to any online Lyme support groups? There are a few I visit on facebook that have been very helpful to me.
    I hope you will turn a corner on this thing soon and start to see some improvement. The most frustrating thing about this whole thing I think is how very long it takes for stuff to begin to get better, but I have seen people improve with treatment so I know it's possible if we just keep hanging on and pushing through! (((hugs)))
    You are not alone.