Monday, April 25, 2011

Nobody Gets It

Today just sucked.

Sores on my tongue were driving me crazy.  Pain level was a 9 a good part of the day.  I got a hive in a new spot....on my left hand.  And I was busy all no nap.  (ugh)

My husband got floor seats to the Mavs game, and I told him I didn't want to go.  He made me feel guilty about it.  He STILL is bugging me about having to turn down these tickets.  He doesn't get how terrible I feel today.

In a couple of weeks, I am going to San Antonio with my daughter's choir as a chaperone.  It will be a lot of fun....but a lot of walking.  I REALLY am uneasy about going.  I have been putting off writing the 360.00 check and I finally told her today that I wasn't sure I could go....BAD IDEA.  She is correct in telling me that I *did* already commit to going---months ago.  She was really upset and reminded me that it HAS been stormy a lot the past few days and I've told her that bad weather affects my pain. The weather won't be like this in San Antonio and furthermore, all the room assignments have been made.  (hehe)

But seriously, I couldn't tell her no.  I have to go. 

Nobody gets it.  Nobody knows how completely awful I feel.  I'm really starting to fall into that wanting-to-just-disappear depression. 

I need to find a doctor who can help me.   Soon.


  1. I am so sorry you are struggling. The past 6 days have been very hard on me. The fatigue is so bad that I was in bed for days. I have had the same feeling about disappearing lately. I hope you get the help you need soon. Hugs

  2. I learned something early on with my children, NEVER ever commit unless you are absolutely sure of the outcome. Sometimes it is sad when you must say no but better to say no for a day then to be down for a week, month or longer. I've been swinging at the tail end of 6 months with doctors trying to get all on board together to get my numbers down and my body back. It's slow, so very slow but I remain faithful and hopeful.

    I'm sorry you feel the tension of mother hood mixed in with what should be the blessings of it. I know it's not easy.

    How is the new doctor hunt coming? Can you call your insurance and ask for a list or get online and type in your area, doctor search & specialty? Hugs.

  3. Been there, done that! I've had so many days like that I've lost count. Focus on what you need to do to feel better. In the fog of pain, it is easy to lose focus. But you need to keep healing :) ~ Peter

  4. I hope your feeling better! If not, I hope your resting. It took me 10 years to find out what the heck was wrong with my body. Hang in there okay.

    Same me, different blog. I accidentally deleted my entire account. Oy. Brain fog.

  5. Haven't read much of your blog, so excuse me if you've already considered this. I have RA and Celiac Disease - Celiac comes with mouth sores and hives and for me at least, is the main factor in my RA. When I get accidentally cross contaminated with gluten, my RA flares. Good luck in your search for health!