Yesterday my husband said something to me that hurt. Sure, it's not the first time it's happened and I'm sure it won't be the last....but this was really different. This is something that I guess I just realized, REALLY realized, people without an invisible illness, like RA, must honestly believe.
He said, "Beth, you've been to many doctors over the past two years. A couple of them didn't think you have RA. A couple of others didn't think you have fibromyalgia. Maybe it's time to try something different..." I was trying to guess what his marvelous plan was, but finally just took the bait and asked, "What can I do? What do you think I can do to finally find a definitive diagnosis and get started on a treatment plan that will possibly end this almost 2 year flare from HELL?"
Guess what his idea was..... it's a good one......"What about a change in attitude? Maybe having more fun, going out more, etc?"
Oh, was I pissed off.
Then I started thinking about all the people who don't understand the relentless pain I have been dealing with (which is pretty much all my friends and family) and it dawned on me that it's really difficult to relate to something you don't have in your life yourself. I mean, I have no idea what it feels like to:
break a bone,
get stung by a bee,
or God forbid be attacked by a shark...
BUT...I do believe the people that experience these things are in pain---even though I don't know how, exactly, their pain feels. I just know it is pain. Pain that doesn't go away by merely trying to be happier or getting your mind off of it.
Pain is your body's way of telling you something is wrong. Once you know what is wrong, you can begin to find the best way to get better.
I want to help people understand that just because you can't see what hurts those of us in my condition...and it seems like we don't just "get better" like most people....we are in legitimate pain. It's real people!
Stepping off of my soapbox and wishing you all a wonderful day!
*hugs*
Thanks for expressing your thoughts about pain so fully. I loved all the graphics. I hope your husband reads your blog, too.
ReplyDeleteOn these types of day I sooo wish to inflict equal pain on the person commenting about how I should think positive and get over it. Maybe then they will understand. Sure it might not be ra pain but at least both of us will be crying at that point :-) Problem solved. Loved your post!
ReplyDeletePS...Of course I am not suggesting you do this to your hubby. But sometimes just visualizing or "changing your attitude" really does make us feel better.
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I'm so sorry. It's just not fair, is it! I believe you and I don't know you but I do know that when people have suggested that maybe if I "got up and even just took a walk around the block" that I might feel even a smidge better, I wonder at how on earth they expect me to do that when I am 1) in pain and
ReplyDelete2) so fatigued I can hardly get myself to the bathroom