I figure this blog is my safe zone. IF anyone is reading, you probably have an autoimmune illness, or some other painful condition that "normal" people don't understand. Thing is, "normal" people understand Cancer. We all hate it! Problem with our conditions is that people don't UNDERSTAND how we feel.
I hate the fact that I still don't have a solid diagnosis. I really do. I am considering going back with the original doctor who did the most thorough testing and diagnosed me with USpA. I don't believe I have fibromyalgia. The fatigue is the symptom that matches, and that goes with any number of other conditions. I need a solid diagnosis so I can get on something to get me into remission or out of this flare that I've lived in for almost two years. I'm so tired of hurting.
Nobody knows this pain. I swear my family and friends (those I have left) think I'm faking or exaggerating or being a hypochondriac. They don't know how truly sick I feel. Or if they do, they don't care. Maybe that's it. Maybe they are just so sick of me being sick that they just don't listen or care anymore.
My current doctor won't refill my pain meds that I take at max twice a day, but typically only once....a few days not at all. He gave me tramadol which is doing NOTHING for my pain. I'm weak. I have no appetite because the pain is so horrible that it makes me nauseous. I can't live my life this way. I'm seriously thinking about ending it all. (Please don't flame...it's how I feel) I know my kids would be better off with their father and step-mom. Two HEALTHY parents who love them. I'm just way too tired and in so much pain to be any good for anyone.
I need help. I need a diagnosis. I am NOT going to another doctor. I am just wanting something to work for me.